You get a car! You get a car! YOU get a car! But not the girl in the red shirt in the third row; she doesn’t get a car….she’s a bitch.
If I could give all my readers a car, I would, but I aint Oprah. In fact, I’m the total freaking opposite of Oprah: white, male, tall, beer skinny, slacker chic, poor-ish. I would hug Oprah if I could, totally sneak a smooch. Why not? In my daydreams she shows some nipple, slips me a grand.
Speaking of weird – milestones are being exploded and left for dead here on Roam About. In the next day or so, I’ll reach the 25,000 views/500 followers threshold, an extremely humbling occasion, which brings me to this whole Give-Away business…
1. I’m giving my 500th follower a sweet ass coffee mug (and possibly some other things – recyclables, bills, etc.) from the Etsy shop FlyCupsAndFineAssArt (http://www.etsy.com/shop/flycupsandfineassart), curated by my favorite Columbus artist, and friend Matthew Richard Barnes. The guy’s a genius – is on the brink of taking off – and there’s nothing better than putting your lips on a Barnes piece…every morning.
2. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not on peyote. To answer your other question of ‘why the hell would you give some random person in Papua New Guinea a gift just for following when I’ve followed this mediocre website for months?’
Hold on dear readers…
2b. At first, I was going to give away the jeans that I just outgrew (too much beer), my cat, a copy of CCR’s Cosmo’s Factory on vinyl, and an old man TBA (To Be Abducted).
But instead, I’m going to give someone my only copy of ‘Ghost Town’ containing my first published short story, PLUS a sweet ass coffee mug, an old, hilarious, personalized 8×10 headshot from my acting days, some fake mustaches, a mix-tape, and more. It’s the greatest fucking care-package in history; similar to winning both Showcases on ‘The Price is Right’.
I can’t tell you how the winner will be decided…yet, but I suggest ‘liking’ this post, or better yet (hint), leaving a comment if you want in. If not, totally cool, I understand keeping anonymity in the blog-o-verse, and this Give-Away experiment may fail harder than the Greenland Beach Volleyball team.
‘HOW I SAVED THE PANICKED IDIOT IN 29D’
My friend Mark (of ConChocolate Productions) and I did a video collaboration! It’s a quick one, showing the warped mental-state induced by a mutual disdain for heavy flight turbulence. I might be able to use it as a marketing tool for Roam About…’This Blog Saves Lives’….hmmm. More collaborations to come. Looking forward to it, Mark.