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2,000 Followers!? (Holy Shit and Thank You)


Han Solo?

There are over 2,000 of you.

If I were in a band, and 2,000 of you came to the show, that would be a kick-ass concert, with a mosh pit and beach balls and marijua…beer, just beer, you stoners.

Really, if I had to address 2,000 people from the stage, I’d probably hyperventilate, pass out, and break my face on a ledge. But I can’t think of it that way…


So, what does 2,000 followers mean?

Monetarily—right now—nothing, but that’s not the point of this blog.

Personally, it means everything, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank all the followers/everyone that regularly comment on my insanity. And Thank You to WordPress for not only Freshly Pressing me last year, but having Roam About on the ‘Staff’s Picks’ rotation. Incredibly humbling considering all the amazing blogs out there. Thank you thank you. I know you’re watching.

I whim write – craziness in text – if you’ve come here looking for a way to establish more followers, my advice is to just write how you speak in your mind brain. The positive response to doing this has given me the kick-in-the-ass needed to become a successful writer/blogger/traveler.

Unfortunately, there are some followers who don’t comment much, and some WordPressers who just hoard blogs and never visit/comment at all; the opposite of what the whole blogging community is about (then there are those slimy few who ONLY comment on Freshly Pressed blogs for attention; I call them Proachers).

Perhaps people are afraid to visit more often because I’m like the crazy cousin in the corner of the blogging family room drinking Genesee pull tabs through a thick mustache. Maybe I’m just awkward; unapproachable.


1983 just called and reconfirmed my reservation at the Awesomeville Tavern

No way, couldn’t be that.

To break the ice, I’m going to tell you 5 things about me so you may feel more comfortable asking for a hypothetical ride home…and visiting Roam About more.

1.My User name, mabukach, doesn’t read Ma Bukach; it’s M.A. My middle name is Awesome.

2. My girlfriend’s name is Marti, she’s 3 1/2 feet tall, has green eyes, and aside from her lack of verticalness, is a keeper. She’s a constant inspiration to me and my writings. It was her birthday yesterday, so as a present, I’m  buying her (us) a house here in Columbus. New R.A.M. HQ! DIY home repair posts in the future?



3. We have a cat named Thief who I found fleeing the Chinese Restaurant behind our apartment. He likes beer, processed turkey, and is addicted to adhesives.


4a. I’m the Senior Writer for an amazing Health/Tech company in downtown Columbus, and I dabble in freelancing.

4b. I’m also one for one in publishing short stories in the creative non-fiction genre. I found out this weekend my story was posted online by the publishers, Ghost Town. If you have 15 minutes to waste, here it is in full:

5. I have a quarter-sized birthmark on my left butt cheek. Roam About Mom says it’s where god left his mark when I was born. Being that it looks like a burn, along with my propensity for mischief, I’d say it was the devil.

Do you want an autographed photo of me for your ceiling, bathroom mirrors, or car visor?

I’m sorry I’m poor now (I’m buying a house people), and can’t offer THAT nice of a give-away this time, but I do  have a bunch of old comp cards from my acting/modeling days and I will send you a pic – doused in cologne – with a letter declaring my love for you. I’m serious. Seriously serious. Then, if you send a pic of yourself holding a pic of me, I’ll make a funny blog post out of it. Either way, leave a comment below.

Thank you all, again. Good things are heading down the pipe for ’13, I can feel in my bone(r)s. – 12-year-old Mike

93 Comments Post a comment
  1. Laura Hilger #

    You’re so hilarious-love your stuff!

    February 12, 2013
  2. Ben #

    Congrats on the house, Mike!!! Though I’m bummed Roam about Cat exists. In some crazy Zukunft when I actually visit, I will have to hold my breath a long time. It’s cool. I swim and stuff..

    February 12, 2013
    • Thanks, Ben! He’s cool. I’m allergic to cats and he doesn’t bother me all that much.
      I will quarantine a room for you when you visit.

      February 12, 2013
  3. Congratulations Mike! 2000 is a milestone for sure! I am going through the same thing with trying to get followers to stop by more often. I think some follow to get the follow back like tag and then just run away! What’s up with that????
    So I’m expecting a photo in the mail, only make it your good side. I will take your word for it that you have a birth mark on your butt cheek.

    February 12, 2013
    • I forgot to include, you know that you are a WordPress Recommended Blogger too, right?

      February 12, 2013
      • Yaaaaaaay. Thanks, Susie!
        Yeah, there’s been a major influx of ‘like ‘n’ runs’ on WordPress. Shady stuff. Don’t have time for it.
        You got it – one photo sans buttcheek.

        I did! I mentioned it above but think I called it the wrong thing. WordPress people are awesome.

        February 12, 2013
  4. Nathaniel Hahn #

    Hahah…I want an autographed picture! And I love Darth Vaders skeleton in the background of that awesome kitty jacket picture. You should hook Thief up with Charlie from Sunny… get him some kitten slippers and they can huff glue together! Congrats on 2K! Keep up the stellar work!

    February 12, 2013
    • You got it, dude. One autograph from Roam About trade for a CP auto.
      I would get one mitten on before suffering multiple facial lacerations.
      Thanks man. Collaboration soon?

      February 12, 2013
  5. Layne Redman #

    Congrats Mike!! I always look forward to your posts, they always bring a smile to my face! Keep up the good work!

    February 12, 2013
    • Thanks, Layne. That means a lot. And thanks for reading.

      February 12, 2013
  6. I am not surprised one bit that you have 2,000 followers. Cheers, babe!

    February 12, 2013
  7. Paige Harris #

    I have known you for years and you have never once promised me a cologne doused comp card…WTF… you even have 2000 comp cards left???…. was that the ridiculously heavy box I carried down 4 flights of stairs to a u-haul…. God I miss you and what I really want is a framed autographed pic of you at the Awesomeville Tavern…cause YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!

    February 12, 2013
    • What? I haven’t? Shame on me.
      That box was all comp cards, and my lead coin collection.
      Thanks, Paige. I miss you dearly. Roam About Virginia….soon. Weekend trip.

      February 12, 2013
  8. Hilarious! You are one of my favorite bloggers — and congrats on hitting the 2,000 mark! I can only dream… I would love a cologne-soaked picture of you! Either a head shot/comp, or a print of you up there in the powder blue kitty power jacket. Ha! Thanks for keepin’ it real, crazylegs.

    February 12, 2013
    • Awww thanks, laura. I got really lucky with the WordPress peeps, without them, I would have 20 followers.
      You got it, i’ll email you!
      Legs of fury! or furry.

      February 12, 2013
  9. jan bukach #

    Hey my son! Very, very funny, as always. I definitely can confirm you have a birth mark on your butt. haha Umm, you didn’t go out in public in that kitty jacket and shorts, did you?

    February 12, 2013
    • Thanks, Roam About Ma.
      Devil’s mark.
      I did. I went roller skating with Marti. True story. People avoided me…why?

      February 12, 2013
  10. Funny as always, love the ADD style (easy for me to follow) always lurve the photos!

    That cat really should thank it’s lucky stars you saved it… Cause you know..hanging out behind certain establishments may mean..main course material.

    February 12, 2013
    • What ADD style? Kidding…

      Yeah, he was a day away from being a moo shoo pork special at the sketchy place behind us. I remind him daily, but he seems to forget easily. Bastard cat.

      Thanks, mrsdeboots!

      February 12, 2013
  11. Mike,
    I forget how we met but I remember liking you right away. Your writing style, the things you write about, your curiosity and drive. I just read your short story “Seward” in Ghost Town and now I feel similar to a guy that had been jamming with Clapton or Carlos but didn’t recognize who they were until after the fact. Love the post too, and your description of those Proachers (there’s one that leaves their link with the second comment every time).
    Anyway, I glad to be one the 2,000 in the mosh pit.
    You’re an inspiration brother!

    February 12, 2013
    • Feeling’s mutual, Red. Really dig your stuff. Always entertaining.
      Hahaha – definitely Clapton, but Clapton circa Cream, not the new stuff. appreciate your kind words on Seward. Worked on that bastard for months. If only i had time to write all the time….

      Proachers, man. They are shameless, and I’m willing to bet half of them skim the first line, then write about it.

      Thank you, Friend!

      February 12, 2013
  12. okay, mike, 2000 followers is feckin’ amazing. i have a hard time breaking 1000. b) I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE BUYING A FECKIN’ HOUSE. another thing i’m fighting to do. and c) i loved reading these little tidbits about you. awesome. RAMEN IN MARCH, which is the battle cry of a very select few. 😉 looooollll. xoxo and congrats! sm

    February 12, 2013
    • Moms,

      It’s really humbling and scary, but i think half the people who follow me are from Cyprus, trying to hack my blog.

      The house thing is next level stress kind of shit. Add in a Short Sale on top of it, and it’s a psychological game of stress chess.

      I always enjoy reading your stuff – thoughtful, funny, more funny.
      ABSOLUTELY Ramen in March!!! We’ll eat it til our fingers swell.

      Thank you, Sweet Moms 🙂

      February 12, 2013
      • cyprus…bwwaaaaahhhhhha and you’re so on in march! xoxo

        February 12, 2013
      • Mike are all your followers from WordPress? Or are they unknown people?

        February 14, 2013
      • I’d say 95% are wordpressers. The rest are people I know or stray folk.

        February 14, 2013
  13. “My advice is to just write how you speak in your mind brain”. That’s what gets me into trouble! But I won’t stop, EVER! Even if there’s a fire.

    February 12, 2013
    • Hahaha! Don’t ever stop! Writing from a fire does make the edges all charred; a more authentic look.
      Thanks, kilaheem

      February 12, 2013
  14. free penny press #

    Wow.. 2 g’s. 2 grand. you the man Mike.. Seriously, you write some funny as hell stuff and it’s always a pleasure to drop in at your crib.. Oh, and congrats on the new crib..
    happy 2013!!

    February 12, 2013
    • If I had a dollar for every follower….
      Thanks, Penny. I know it’s been a while, but how’s your new Crib/acclimation going?

      February 12, 2013
  15. 2000 well-deserved followers. Your craziness couldn’t go unnoticed, un-freshlypressed, un-staffpicked even if it wanted to. Thanks for the laughs. And congrats on the house!!

    February 12, 2013
    • Aww shucks, Erika.
      That means a lot, thank you so much.

      February 12, 2013
  16. Nice ass in those jorts! Post the modeling pics again and I will print one. Just to keep on my desk at work.

    February 12, 2013
    • See, I grow mustache and everyone STILL looks at my jort booty. 🙂

      Sounds like a plan. Stay tuned….

      February 12, 2013
      • And um, congratulations! You are much deserving and a great writer. I forgot to say how you are one of my favorite humor writers ever, EVER all because I was so taken with your jortooty.

        February 12, 2013
      • Thanks, Maggie. Coincidentally, I get all my writing powers from the short-shorts. The air-flow stimulates the…brain.

        February 13, 2013
  17. You crack me up. Congrats on reaching 2000 – hope some day to reach that level also. I’m at 8 now so should be there in a matter of days. But for now I’ll just be happy to be one of your great unwashed 2k.

    February 12, 2013
    • You’ll get there, man. I had like 5 followers for a month, and they were all related to me. No doubt, you’ll be there in days.
      Thanks, battle. most of the roamers are unwashed.

      February 12, 2013
      • Haha, they were related to you? That’s what I got now, 5 followers, that’s it. But I know I’ll get more in time, lol

        February 14, 2013
      • Basically, yeah. My first outsider follower was gedlondon.

        February 14, 2013
  18. I like 12-year-old Mike’s enthusiasm;-) Way to go, big Mike. But not big Mike with the big cat on his weird-ass jacket.

    February 12, 2013
    • Haha! I’m a twelve year old 32 year old.

      What!! That jacket is amazing. It even reads: “Sexy, Soft, and Sophisticated”. Give it a chance, denmoms!

      February 12, 2013
      • Bring that sexy, soft and sophisticated jacket to our V-Day Like-In tomorrow. Live and learn, Mike.

        February 13, 2013
      • Fine, I’ll give up the jacket. But I’m keeping the jorts.

        February 13, 2013
  19. Yeah man keep up the good work! You got funny stuff -,o

    February 12, 2013
    • Thank you for the awesome comment, future. much appreciated!

      February 13, 2013
  20. I kinda am guilty for being those “proachers” but i love writing and reading what you write! Congratulations!

    February 12, 2013
    • Hey, as long as you actually read what is freshly pressed, it’s all good. I see some bloggers who just skim content, comment on the one line they read, then run. People do it on this site and it just seems a bit dirty, you know?

      Anyways, thanks so much m4ttruck! I appreciate your kind words.

      February 13, 2013
  21. Reblogged this on Suitcase on the Sidewalk and commented:
    Congrats to Mike! He writes an awesome blog, and I’m so glad he’s being appreciated :]

    February 13, 2013
    • You are awesome, Haley! Thanks for the reblog, I’ll have to check it out.

      February 13, 2013
  22. mikew66 #

    Congrats on the 2000 fantastic achievement, I think the 1983 photo will probably get you double that !

    February 13, 2013
    • Hopefully, or it will half the place very quickly. Thanks, Mike!

      February 14, 2013
  23. Not only do I want to sleep with you because of your intelligence and humor, but now I want to use your body because of your fame. Spank bank material!

    In all seriousness, congrats on 2,000. That is no small feat! Not surprised though, you’re probably one of the funniest bloggers I’ve come across.

    February 13, 2013
    • Here I thought it was the stache the ladies want to sleep with….

      Thank you, Jen. We have a mutual comedy crush on each other. Love reading your stuff.

      February 14, 2013
  24. Congrats! 2,000 is a real milestone. Woo-hoo!

    February 13, 2013
    • Thanks so much, Silver! Woooo wooooot! Beer clink

      February 14, 2013
  25. Wow Mike, I just read your whole article and it was funny. You’re a good writer here, and good at making people laugh. I joined wordpress over a month ago, so I haven’t had a chance to get to know many bloggers on this site. You should check out my YouTube Message, there’s a quick video of me saying Happy Valentines day in sign language. Yes, I am deaf, but I can talk, you’ll find that out in the video. Check it out also check out my wordpress blogg at and my other well known blog Susana the Deaf Lady at

    February 14, 2013
    • Thank you, Wanda!
      Good luck to you in the blogging world. I really liked the video and learned a bit of ASL, so thanks for the lesson.
      Will definitely check out your blogs.

      February 14, 2013
      • Great! Thank you for checking it out. It’s good to know you learned something from it. I’m not sure if you saw my other video besides that one. I’ll enclose a link anyway. It’s called Pictures of me during my childhood days by Susana the Deaf Lady. It comes with a nice song, The Star of a Story by Heatwave.

        February 14, 2013
      • This was pretty cool. The text kind of whizzes by but overall good stuff.

        February 15, 2013
  26. Ziggy with a Neck #

    You’ll always be that crazy cousin in the corner to me. For realz.

    February 14, 2013
    • Always, Ziggy. Always.

      February 14, 2013
  27. I totally want a picture. If it’s from your modeling days, my wife will be definitely appreciate it. Can someone file for divorce in order to marry a photograph? Eh, I guess I’ll find out.

    February 14, 2013
    • Not these pictures, no. It’s illegal to marry such mediocrity. But I will send you a pic, and maybe some stickers.

      February 14, 2013
      • I love getting anything in the mail, so please send whatever you’ve got.

        February 14, 2013
      • Me too. Especially real things, usually I just get junk mail, and value-coupons for obscure products.

        February 14, 2013
      • Thank you for the envelope of goodies, Mike. We have the autograph hanging on our refrigerator. True. 🙂

        February 25, 2013
      • No problem, Mike. I feel honored to grace your fridge.

        February 25, 2013
  28. Howdy! Saw you on Susie’s Wild Ride and thought I”d come over and say hi. Congrats on your accomplishments!! And a big congrats, too, on the house!!

    February 15, 2013
    • Hey Denise, thanks for stopping in. I really like what Susie’s got going on over there.

      Thank you, thank you! Though the latter causes me great stress, it should be fun. 🙂

      February 15, 2013
  29. WOW! To me you are brilliant with your zest for life and sizzling blog. First time I read it! I had to laugh because I only have 20 followers 😦 but I am so happy I think I would explode if I had 2000 followers (hehehe)>
    I am new in this blog world and I am only doing one because my husband thought was a good idea for our children and close family and friends wants to follow our travels through Europe in Trek (our american RV) and my husband’s Gooda.
    I want your autograph. When my blog grow up wants to be like yours…fun!

    February 16, 2013
    • That’s really nice of you Gooda, thanks so much.
      Hey, you gotta start somewhere – like I mentioned earlier, I only had 5 followers for like a month, so just keep it up!

      Will definitely check out your site, interested in your travels!

      February 16, 2013
  30. Congratulations on the many good things happening in your life, especially that butt cheek birth mark. Sweet!! Seriously, though, I love this blog. You are a damn funny man. Don’t ever stop writing.

    February 16, 2013
    • Thank you, been thinking about lasering off my butt mark.

      Thanks, Fish. I really appreciate it coming from you. And I won’t won’t ever stop stop the writin’ (sing this part).

      February 16, 2013
  31. Good job!

    February 16, 2013
  32. cilliandervan #

    Just discovered your blog! Very entertaining so far although I have a lot to catch up on!

    February 20, 2013
    • Awesome – thanks for checking it out, cilliandervan. Hope you enjoy

      February 20, 2013
  33. Hey Mike! Now that I’ve received my treasure in the mail (thanks for the hand-written note, BTW, that was truly awesome…) where do I submit pic with your pic? FB or email or….??

    February 22, 2013
    • Haha! Yay!
      My pleasure. Uhhh, Facebook for now? I’m probably going to use it in a post coming up if you do submit one, if that’s cool.

      February 22, 2013
  34. Need more of that to be your 2001st 😉

    February 25, 2013
    • Will try, but you have to promise. 🙂

      February 25, 2013
      • Deal. And I’d expect you to be my 22nd.

        February 26, 2013
      • A legitimate offer

        February 26, 2013
  35. Hey! U got my cat you Thief! Hilarious blog. We had a cat just like Thief but was named Ivan (RIP) no longer smooching 😦

    March 3, 2013
    • Hey,dean! Sorry to hear about Ivan. Russian blue? Thief’s a good buddy. He thinks he’s a dog, which is pretty bizarre.

      March 3, 2013
  36. WordsFallFromMyEyes #

    ‘monetarily right now, nothing – but that’s not the point of this blog’ – that made me laugh. It’s not a point of any blog (I don’t imagine… surely!) but it’d be nice, hey 🙂

    I loved the joy in this – funny, cheerful, positive. Good on you. Mercy me, that WOULD be a kickass concert with 2000 in the audience. Kudos!

    Love your photos too. You sort of look deer-in-the-headlights but deer still has direction 🙂

    March 9, 2013
    • Thanks, WordFall!

      I do look like a deer in headlights – shocked from the nice followers.

      Thanks for stopping in

      March 10, 2013
  37. just found you today, like you already!

    March 25, 2013

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