Flying over Invisibility, a simple choice, right?
Zoom around the world, have lunch in Bali, back in the States, pick up kim kardashian, dump her in the Amazon under the watch of some cannibalistic tribe partial to massive cabooses, leave her, back in the States before din, throw ‘You’re Welcome, Yeezy’ postcard to Kanye in the mail.
But what if flight capabilities had a 35 mph limitation?
Just my luck – being able to fly but with a top speed of 35 mph. Sure, I’m still flying, but scooters are faster. Morbidly obese people at the grocery store, power-sliding around the ‘Meat’ section on electric jockies, go faster.
Falcons would scoff, and the government would catch me in a net and biopsy my carcass for life (presupposing governments use nets to catch people, or superheroes). Suck.
Awesome! I’m invisible – I can totally mess with people, tap them on the shoulder, trip them, depants them, stalk them, and then rob the shit out of them…
Huh.That escalated quickly.
Want a good look at what your secret crush has going on under all those clothes? Invisibility.
Want to see how much how much old man Jenkins has stowed away in his bank vault? [Just to clarify, not a euphemism] Invisibility.
Invisibility = robbing, or worse. Unless you’re Froto Baggins, there’s no way you can judge, but I couldn’t be invisible. I couldn’t handle the pure mischievous allurement of an anarchistic existence, moral or otherwise. Even if dabbling in secret crime fighting, or shadowy covert information swapping for betterment of the world, I would still steal trophies from the duped like mustaches, gold bullions, puppies, or Ferraris.
And what if I were invisible AND naked? This is the consensus in movies – you don’t get clothes. Chevy Chase’s character had this problem in ‘Memoirs of the Invisible Man’. He was invisible, yet, still visible through what he was wearing.
Another negative is control. What if your invisibility isn’t permanent and comes and goes like a rolling blackout?
Nothing like pleasuring yourself next to Jennifer Connelly when your invisibility runs out.
“Sorry, Ma’am. Loved you in Labyrinth….mind if I finish?”
The only remaining question for invisibility; ‘How long before I do something evil?’
Conversely, with flight; ‘How long before I do something good?’
Why is that? (As Freudian scholars rush to my comment section with something about potty training).
With flight, there’s positive cultural/personal scenarios — deeply discounted environmentally friendly travel, no traffic, saving kittens, high-fiving eagles, and when not inevitably crime fighting, making a couple bucks on the side as an Air Taxi.
Can’t say the same for invisibility. I have an inkling that even the most moral, most pious person would become drunk with power, and do something ‘bad’ after some time. Not trying to be cynical towards (wo)mankind, just honest.
With that, I’ve made my decision; thank you for letting me share my breakfast time inner-argument. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to fly to work. – Mike
What do you pick – flight or invisibility?