I’m no Martha Stewart.
For one, I have testicles.
For second, I’m poor.
But, I have to let you in on a little secret; I like to cook.
Look, I’m no Bourdain, and I won’t win a Michelin star anytime soon, I just enjoy the therapeutic process of cooking – it’s like putting a puzzle together for your mouth. And I especially enjoy hacking things into little pieces with a blade with the only repercussions being deliciousness.
(fun fact: Michelin stars (Michelin, the tire company) started in 1970 as a rating system for restaurants during road trips across France)
Anyway, I wanted to try something different today, share one of my breakfast staples with everyone. If it works out, I’ll keep posting these nuggets, maybe make some cooking vids. If not, well, some of you will get some sweet-ass recipes.
Garbage Eggs (serves three)
You got a bunch of stuff in the fridge, or your making food for everyone at a hostel – you’re hung over, you’re all hung over – need food right meow. Time to make some garbage eggs.
Drizzle some olive oil on a pan, low heat. Chop up half a large yellow onion. Crush and chop up two large garlic cloves. Throw in pan, turn up heat to medium, stir every once in a while. 5 minutes-ish
While that’s cookin’, dice up some tomatoes, and cut up one head of broccoli. If you don’t like broccoli, like a lot of people, even though it’s a super food, use a large green bell pepper.
Once the garlic and onions mixture is ready, crack four eggs into the pan – stir it up, Bob Marley style. Throw in a slice or two of Colby jack cheese, add the tomatoes, the broccoli (or peppers) turn up to medium – medium high heat (depending on your stovetop).
Now, here’s where the winging it/build your own adventure comes in – add, according to your taste:
A healthy dose of Salsa (hotness based on your taste)
Dash of Sea Salt
Dash of Cracked black pepper
Red Chili powder (degree of heat depending on hangover)
And, if you’re feeling horribly carnivorous, add in crumbled Chorizo.
Your mixture should now look something like this
Continue cooking until the mush is fluffy. Make some bacon as an accoutrement, pretend it’s dinosaur meat.
Once your ready, head to the DVD closet, select something to watch – this week, a little Jet-Li action.
Some toast with freaking awesome Hot Pepper Strawberry Jam from Sweet Thing Gourmet , some OJ, Coffee/Tea and that’s it! Easy, done in less than a half hour, hang-over quelled. Enjoy! – Mike
1/2 large Onion
2 gloves Garlic
1 large tomato
1 head of broccoli
1 – 2 slice(s) of cheese
cracked black pepper
Red Chili Powder
*optional – Chorizo
Ripped up turkey slices